yes. It’s the amount of ULCERS I have… in my mouth. Yes. RIGHT NOW. RIGHT AT THE MOMENT.
5 in the tongue itself.. 1 in the left side of the mouth.. 5 on the upper lips…. wait.. there is like 5 in the right…
DAMMIT. I MUST STOP COUNTING!!!!!
Oh My God. I feel like I’m gonna cry. This is even worse than a heartache.
Sobs. Sobs.
There was one note in Facebook that is SO HAPPENING right now, everytime I click my FB home, there was such note with many people tagged on it. At first I thought it was (very) unnecessary to do, neither to put it in Facebook’s Notes application and tagged many many people just to make them see (read- red) or, choose to do it as well and pass it on to others.
Yet on the other side, I personally see the note as one great tool to do such a… confession.
Yes, every people have their (darkest, perhaps?) secrets. Not all can be shared, and there are some things that are better left unsaid… But once for a while in their life, I do believe people should be honest to others, and yes, to themselves as well.
Ok here goes. My 16 Secrets.
1. I am a bad not so good moslem. Everybody knows that maybe. But what they don’t know is.. (shame on me), I only remember like…. 4 prays (surat or doa- red) from many many many of them. 5 with doa sbelum berbuka puasa.
2. I personally believe to the horoscope- astrology thingy. You know. For example if there’s one person who’s very open and noisy and attractive, I will then tell to myself (and sometimes, others,) “no wonder, you know, since she’s a Leo”. Got my point?
3. I have 2 exes. And all of them are Virgonians (SEE? I did it again :p). I don’t know whether it is a coincidence or something, but yes, there are always a Virgo man in every phase of my life. (Gak smuanya berakhir jadi pacar though. PLEASE TAKE A NOTE ON THAT. :p )
4. I dumped my first ex (sigh) because of the LDR things.. One day I woke up and suddenly realized that I couldn’t do such LD anymore. Then my feeling just *poofff* disappear . It didn’t end so well. The break up thing, I mean.. because out of nowhere I just stopped picking up his calls and moved on. Oh ya, without informing him. Yes. Me. Mean me. Shame on me.
Later on, my 2nd ex (which, is the ex of my friend) (and yeah, that friend of mine once accused me to steal her BF) dumped me pretty bad (through… yes. SMS.).. I was so heart-broken, I cried for a WHOLE DAY in school until one of my teachers felt the urge to ask me why.. ahaha (the reason why he dumped me? well.. he said it’s the “prinsip” thing while many people say to me, he did it because of the existence of “orang ketiga”)
You see the karma goes around pretty good, eh?
5. I used to feel the “uncomfortable”-ness (and “gerah”-ness.. or “gak betah”-ness) whenever my parents are around. Don’t blame me.. Since I was on 3rd grade, we (me and my lil sis) (especially me) did live far away from our parents. I tend to be on my own, doing all of my studies and else by myself, fulfilling my own needs alone, and that’s why I’m getting used to a situation where my parents are not around.
6. I hate lizards. MORE THAN I hate cockroach… and their-friends.
7. When I was a kid, and was asked what I wanna be when I grow up, I always thought that I want to be a diplomat. (Yang mana anak2 lain pengen jadi dokter, presiden, yes, there was me standing, said “diplomat”. hahahahhaa)
8. I took IPA on my penjurusan kelas III SMA.. because of my parents. (They are the conventional type, if you know what I mean) Which UNTIL NOW I still can’t figure out why I was willing to spend my one year filled with all the tears, all the shouts, all the tensions, added with a never ending migraines, numbers, chemical reactions, angka 3 dan 4 buat fisika, when at the end.. I took BUSINESS as my university major. (Accounting and Management to be exact).
9. (ok, this is the big one) Well.. Until now, if you asked me anything about accounting.. ANYTHING.. I swear I will not be able to answer. Not because of the “udah lama jadi udah lupa” things.. It’s because.. I NEVER UNDERSTAND THE PRINCIPLE. THE BASIC ONE? YES. ZERO. Z to the E R and O! Zero. Nada. Nu’uh. (Well I may know one or two..but.. yeah. Still.)
Oh and if you’re asking why I succeeded in managing my marks pretty well… um it’s because I am pretty good with numbers… (but not accounting, since they are two DIFFERENT things) and I’m pretty good in memorizing.. so.. Yeah…..
10. I will freak out every time I think about (or discuss about.. or talk about.. etc)… My future.
11. My biggest fear? (Besides God- of course) Losing the people that I love so much.
12. Waktu bayi.. my (so-called-newbie-in-baby-stuffs) mom decided to CUT ALL OF MY HAIR (which, I personally believe become the reason why I have such…… small amount of hairs)
13. I am a shy person. I can’t talk much if I’m not in the mood of “forcing myself to do the conversation”. I am able to become one completely mute person for a whole day… within a group of people.
14. I used to weigh 68 kgs.. hahahhahahahaa. I got the pics. All of em. And I’ve been losing 15kgs up until now. (So yeah, do the maths and you’ll find my current weight (well.. lessen it by 2-3 more kgs))
15. I once had a Barbie collection.. and obsessed by them. I changed their (there were 6 or 7 of them) clothes and brushed their (long and smooth) hair EVERY DAY. I have the dining set. The kitchen set. (But not the expensive one, since daddy couldn’t afford it) (Usually it’s secondhandedly given by my cousins), and I even made most of the clothes by myself! (Yep, no money baby. So I was using kain2 perca dan mesin jahit eyang putri).
(Oh, FYI, my dad DID saving up before giving me one barbie EACH for my BIRTHDAY.. every year. So 6 Barbie = 6 Birthdays.. It was really hard for him.. considering our daily life was also gak bisa mencukupi.. hiks. Thanks daddy, thank you so much :( )
And, one day, I went to Jakarta with my lovely grandma.. by train. At one point of time, we were careless.. and yes. One bag got stolen. No need to ask what’s in there. ALL OF THEM. WITH ALL OF THEIR CLOTHES and their tetek bengek of course.
16. I’ve never been to the club.. ever. Not once in my life. Bar.. once, with my parents in Vegas. (DU’UH). Smoking? Been there done that. Drugs? I say (out loudly) no to drugs. Drunk? I hate any alcoholic drinks. Yet I just want to … try… being in A club. What it is like. HAHAH. Poor me.
DONE! That’s my 16 secrets! Pfiuh. There are 1-2 things I want to put as well.. After many consideration, I think this is the TOP-16 so far.. Whew. Such a relief. (and embarrassment, I KNOW). But hey, they are worth a shot.
And how about you? Are you ready to spill some dirts? :p
Well then I guess I have to go… See you all soon! :)
PS: DAMMIT I CANT WAIT TO DOWNLOAD GOSSIP GIRL EPISODE – “In the Realm of the Basses” UUGGHHHHHH
1.what’s your morning habit?
= it’s like.. looking at my phone to ask (to myself) what time it is
2. after that?
= bathroom baby
3. who’s the first person who greets
you?
= ci Feli
4. what do you do on your way to the
office/school?
= currently not working nor studying………….. yet. but usually I do put my iPod on
5.what do you usually think about on
your way to work/school?
= mostly about the weather… wait.. it should be all random. no, weather.. no.. dammit. cant recall
6. first person you usually text?
= who else?
7.who usually texts/emails you first in the morning?
= and who else? :p
8.what’s his/her message?
= the so called “love” message? (i wish there IS a doraemon)
9.1st call received today?
= humm.. it had to be him.
10. what did you talk about?
= my anger last night xp
11. 1st person you were mean with?
= mean.. what?
12.1st person who made your day right?
= him.
13.who are you thinking of right now?
= geez man. who else!
14.do you think that he/she’s thinking
of you too?
= I guessssss.. yeah. [pause]
SEE!! HE’S CALLING!! OMG!!. I soooo didnt make this up.
15. where you at right now?
= my room
16. what’s on ur mind right now?
= hm.. ALOT
17.easy or tired?
= bored
18.what do you do after work/school?
= it depends. Usually I do my resting time with.. you know, browsing.. or else.
19.event that happened today?
= lets see.. Konjen, checked. Insurance, checked, ATM card, checked. Monash… not yet. sigh
20.word of the day?
= bankrupt. (As in … for real. oh, and yes, for representing that there are no more coins for my pet in PS.. HA HA)
21. ur bday?
= 2905
22.ur zodiac sign?
= Gemini
23.fav colours?
= Currently magenta (or purple, some would say.. haha)
24.fav place(s)?
= 1st: anywhere with him, 2nd: always home
25.fav ringtones?
= any catchy tunes.. currently using Mraz’s I’m Yours
26. fav music as of today?
= still Ello with Masih Ada :p (nothing to do with the lyrics.. seriously)
27.mood of the day?
= great.. lil bit sleepy (and migraine) but great!
28.Looking forward to?
= meeting him!!!
29.ur friends describe u as?
= shy, introvert and quite person (…… …….. what?? YOU DONT BELIEVE ME?)
30. body part u r most attracted to in a woman/man?
= his brain (AH SEDAP HAHAHA)
31. last item you purchased?
= korean snack yum2
32.do you like it?
= yeap.. 2nd bag and counting.
but not for me.. apparently.
OKAY. I’m pretty excited about updating this blog because you know, it’s been AGES since i do that.
Here goes.
First thing first..
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!! :)
Well. That is all I guess. Some other wishes (and so-called resolutions) are better kept unsaid, for which they are relatively unnecessary at the moment (not unnecessary in THAT way, you know. But they just.. aren’t as important as those above)
Second news,
Say Hi to the land down under! Yes, I am now in Australia.. dan taukah apa kesan pertama yang didapat as I landed my foot in Sydney (my first pit-stop before Melbourne was Sydney)?
Australia is so sucky in the wi-fi / wireless internet things.
YES!! SHOOT ME! EVEN IN THE AIRPORT, THERE WAS NO FREE WIFI PROVIDED TO US FOR GETTING ONLINE!
Okay, now I did sound like a geek slash freak. It’s not that I’m such a geek slash freak whose life’s depending on the existence of the Internet or what. (tell me about that) But still! No FREE ones! We have to PAY for accessing wi-fi!
Indonesia.. I can understand. But Australia?
Anyway. I spent 3 nights in Sydney (23rd – 26th afternoon) and we went to several places.. Darling Harbour, Circular Quay, Opera House to name a few.. sisanya biasanya berakhir di either Mcd or Hungry Jacks (yes, it was christmas hols so the stores are mostly closed,)
Then we went to Melbourne. and here I am, in Melbourne since 26th January, having the new year eve by sleeping tightly and soundly (like a baby), crying badly when mommy and daddy left (like a baby), and can’t stop moaning and feeling so homesick (like a baby?) ever since.
It’s not because Melbourne’s not nice or what, (BELIEVE ME, IT IS a NICE city) yet I feel so…. strange.. and alone in this BIG city.. (not to mention.. LIMITED INTERNET CONNECTION)
With all stores still closed due to the holidays, there’s not much to do around here. Added by the fact of the stupid weather that freezes my a#% out EVEN THOUGH IT IS STILL (supposedly the peak of the) SUMMER SEASON. YES, IT IS A BLOODY SUMMER NOW. Yet, I’m sitting here wearing three layers of clothes and wondering if there’s any way to cover my hand since they’re kinda freezing. Ditto for my foot. And my cheeks.
Sigh.
I can’t complain though. My parents had done a lot (HELL A LOT!) to make me comfortable, not to mention the money they’ve spent to buy all the necessities.. I feel so… guilty.. no, not guilty.. I feel so owe them VERY much for all of these. And it will be inappropriate if I still moaning and whining and complaining without even showing how grateful I am that I am still able to feel all of these luxuries, unlike those children in the Gaza Strip. (Sigh. Yes. I do read newspapers)
The unbelievable thing is.. my dad did offer me to go back home first, so that I don’t need to spend my 2 months alone.. doing nothing (baca: seharusnya cari kerja), dan tambah lagi papa mama begitu khawatir akan banyak hal (misalnya… well. not to be shared here) so they are giving such a high approval for my plan to go back for 1 month before going back here again in about 18th Feb.
And yes, shame on me, I agreed straight away and booked my flight for 16Jan – 18Feb.. (In my defense.. I got it for like $450 only for a flight like Virgin Blue! I think it’s a pretty good deal…. isn’t it?)
God does listen to your pray, doesnt He? :)
Enough blabbing, the new year’s starting pretty good, although it was also bumpy a little, (about where-my-future-goes-with-him- talk with my parents, to be precise) but everything is good so far :)
Yes, I do miss HIM SO MUCH. It was hard to not regularly see him back then after graduation.. it is even harder now since I can’t also hear his voices in a daily and hourly basis for quite a long time..
God, can you please help the humans to invent a-non-expensive (free if it’s possible :p) communication-for-a-long-distance-relationship-couples or such kind of tool? *shrugs*
BTW. Can’t wait to the orientation week to start.. Thrilled, but yes, excited :)
See you around in no longer time! :)
NOTE TO SELF:
