hypocrisy, manipulation, and arrogance.

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words”

“Hypocrisy is simply prejudice with a halo”

“Stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get you a long way”

“Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life — for weak people who cannot keep their balance without them.”

Calling me one of the weaklings, but I cant stand any longer this world full of them.

Sentence that has just made my day:

“insya Allah gw akan terus percaya sama lo.. karna elo orang yang paling baik yang pernah gw kenal :) Bayu beruntung tang, dan lo juga beruntung karena Bayu begitu sabar :)”

(said by a very best friend of mine, mr. *J ( i owe you a lot!) in Blackberry Messenger)

Indeed. I am very lucky to have him. I really am.

So, thank you sayang, for your willingness to fight with me,

for your patience,

for your presence,

for your love,

for you,

otherwise I will not be able to stand tall here still, alone.

I love you :)

It’s 4 am for God’s sake.

Thoughts on 4 in the morning:

I believe this one person. I trust him.

I still accept him for what he is.. and I still recognize him as one of my best.

Yet the life turns bitter, I felt that he stabbed me right at my back and he turned his back away.

Yes,.. the person whom I [still] think, will not be able in doing such thing.

The person that I respect so much.

I don’t know who should I trust anymore.

Atleast I know I trust You, God.

Midnight Cravings

Current activities: *munch munch munch* uhm.. Orange pudding and a tiny bar of chocolate

(DAMMIT. THE WORD “TINY” does not make the chocolate becomes less in fat. Definite FATNESS comes.)

Current worries: Exam in about 1 month. Oh, and AFF 5130.. seriously dude, this subject freaks me out.

Current wonders: Why jejes sangat rajin ngetag foto. ahhahaha *piss jess*

Current excitements: SMUA FOTO DI KAMERANYA EDY!! :D dan soundsekerta 2009 audition!

Current annoyances: assignment 5130 yang gak kelar2.. dan my sleepiness attacks everytime the clock hit 1am. Damn my metabolism used to be very good. Damn I feel old.

Current needs: A good planner-forcer. If you know what I mean.

Current wants: No more assignments.. also being totally ready for examination, and for the so-called-gonna-be-miserable-without-him-around holiday :(

Current fears: Good God knows.

Current blessings: All the things that God gave me today.. the foods, the air, the wonderful weather, the good times, the good pictures, the understandings, the patiences, the smiles, the joy, the happiness, the laughs, the hugs, the kisses, the loves, the talks, the great and magnificent people,

Current “what made my day today” thing: that “superserious”  talk i had with him from my home to Murrumbeena station :)

Current songs played: Mraz on Remedy

Current sources of happiness: iTunes. Mexican Foods. This week’s pictures. Bayu Indrawijaya

Current thoughts: I should do my assignments like.. now

Current words (of the day): JANTUNGAN!

Current mood: sleepy. supposed to be an assignment – mood  mode.. but yeah. you all see what i’ve been doing

Current cravings: Chocolate milk tea with coffee jelly caulfield bubbletea.

Current wishlists: Longchamp / Hermes bag (HAHHAA). Blackberry Bold casing. New Nail Polish. Strawberry body lotion from Body Shop. THAT red coat. More leggings. More dresses. More tops, the most importantly.. more shirt! oh, and NECKLACES!.

God I need to do some serious shoppings.

Current lyrics: “I try to sleep, but, the clock is stuck on the thoughts of you and me..” (yeah. Backstreet Boys DO ROCK)

People of the week: Bayu Indrawijaya :), Reman Murandi, Pepen Sadikin, Randi Nizar, Barli Wibisono, Dorothea Angela Merici JESSICA Narissa Idelia SATRIAWAN :D, Daniel Kiasu, Michael Adiwena, Edy Halim, Ridzki Noviansyah, Dian Hatianindri, HAO LOU! :p

Ok then.. Have to go now..

See ya’ll very soon! :D

Membongkar file lama

And I found this microsoft word file.. with these words in it:

You only live once, as said by The Strokes. So I believe I will not regret any decision I’ve made.

I am 23 this year, and I feel I have to do something with my life, either to live it to its fullest, or just plainly letting it goes with the flow.

So I decided to follow my heart starting from now on, and all of my attitudes, all of my feelings, all of my objections towards people, will become a reflection to what I have in mind….in a super honest way.

Well, maybe one or two times I will still put more concerns to what people think and I will still trying so hard to make other people happy,

But still, I will learn to be an “egoist-kind of person”. I will learn to put my happiness first before others.

As my grandma ever said, if you’re not happy in making other people happy, then there’s no point in doing it.

*Thanks grandma, and suddenly I miss you :(*

Hell. What a word.

 

PS: My current condition is… undescribeable. I’m trapped in Hargreave Andrew Library, doing some assignments that I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING THAT I’M READING OR WRITING -, I havent printed the 15 articles which have to be read before friday next week, and I still  have ALOT of things that are going on and on and on in my mind, while I still have to balance myself and keep myself sane at the same time.

And well yeah, love does help.. I know it’s (super) lame. Yet I admit, even a bit, it helps in putting out some sanities in me.

:)

[5 more assignments to go..  and 1 month more to the final exam.. dammit.. I need to make a time schedule.. no wait, .. I did make it.. but the thing is.. I NEED TO FORCE MYSELF TO KEEP UP WITH THE PLAN. PERIOD.]

Ciao for now.

The songs that used to be there.

First Song: You and Me by Lifehouse

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can’t keep up and I can’t back down
I’ve been losing so much time

Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren’t coming out right
I’m tripping on words
You’ve got my head spinning
I don’t know where to go from here

Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you

There’s something about you now
I can’t quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it’s you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it’s you and me and all of the people
And I don’t know why, I can’t keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

My oh my. Feels so nostalgic. Eventhough its lyrics had to do (anything) with my life back then.. i feel such peacefulness everytime I hear this song.

One secret: I used to wish there would be someone who said those words to me. ahahaha. So lame i know.

Second song: I Will by The Beatles

Third song : At Your Side by The Corrs

Fourth song: Sway by Bic Runga

and Fifth song: Last Kiss by Pearl Jam.

Yes, These are five top songs which always able to put me into a very-much-into-the-mood-of-nostalgic feeling.

(Kajumann :p)

Cheers, and have a good day everyone :)

Ola` :D

Been hiatus-ing for like.. ages.

and it feels great :)

However, some things did change, some events were inevitably happened, some people come and go.

Have i prepared for such change? No.

Did it affect me? Yes. Big time

Did I regret it? No. With all the hopes and wishes.

Did I survive? I believe so.

Did something revolutionary good happen after that? I cant answer that… yet. But hell yeah, I know it will be.

“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in, can hope to escape” (William S. Burroughs)

PS: Sorry for such lame blabbing. Too many things jumbled in my mind in this very current time.

…

Well.

Still enjoying ur life tho? Good. Keep up the good work :)

Because I know I do :)

G’day, Mate.

Holla and big HI from me again!

I’ve reached Australia.. for the second time.. and now, all by myself. I’m settling in (pretty much trying to) with every situation and condition here, and to be honest, I enjoy my-already-2-weeks experiences here :D.
I enjoy walking to a nearest bus stop in a windy day, and having no idea which bus i should take,
I enjoy doing all the grocery-shoppings, and having some fractures (hyperbole mode is totally on) on my hands because of its weighs,
I enjoy watching all of those people who’s busy walking and making a lil bit of ‘judgmental impressions’ to them,
I enjoy sitting in the bus, putting my iPhone on, and having my thoughts organized,
and mostly,
I enjoy having a sip of apple juice and / or some chips, laying in bed and being covered by blanket, while doing some re-run on FRIENDS,

(Hm.. You may ask me for the last point I stated above. Yes, it is true that I’m not only doing that while I’m here, and I’ve been doing that for like.. 3 years, but still.. It feels different.)

The point is,
I cherish this “hiatus” period. A lot. Until I feel that I’m gonna cry once I start my classes.
(FYI, all the classes will start nextweek. sigh.)

(big sigh)

(another big sigh)

I do realize not all of the people (especially those who’ve been working) are having such a…. blessing like mine, to have a totally free-period, when there’s nothing to do, nothing to be rushed for, nothing to catch up (except for some gossips or latest news, for sure. HA!), and most importantly, nothing.. to be worried about.

Man. It does suck to be all grown up.

and yes, sometimes I (still) wish I have doraemon.

..
(uh huh, put another sigh here).

15 is a magical number

yes. It’s the amount of ULCERS I have… in my mouth. Yes. RIGHT NOW. RIGHT AT THE MOMENT.

5 in the tongue itself.. 1 in the left side of the mouth.. 5 on the upper lips…. wait.. there is like 5 in the right…

 

DAMMIT. I MUST STOP COUNTING!!!!!

 

Oh My God. I feel like I’m gonna cry. This is even worse than a heartache.

Sobs. Sobs.

A Long (Lonely) Night

1.what’s your morning habit?

= it’s like.. looking at my phone to ask (to myself) what time it is

2. after that?

= bathroom baby

3. who’s the first person who greets

you?

= ci Feli

4. what do you do on your way to the

office/school?

= currently not working nor studying………….. yet. but usually I do put my iPod on

5.what do you usually think about on

your way to work/school?

= mostly about the weather… wait.. it should be all random. no, weather.. no.. dammit. cant recall

6. first person you usually text?

= who else?

7.who usually texts/emails you first in the morning?

= and who else? :p

8.what’s his/her message?

= the so called “love” message? (i wish there IS a doraemon)

9.1st call received today?

= humm.. it had to be him.

10. what did you talk about?

= my anger last night xp

11. 1st person you were mean with?

= mean.. what?

12.1st person who made your day right?

= him.

13.who are you thinking of right now?

= geez man. who else!

14.do you think that he/she’s thinking

of you too?

= I guessssss.. yeah. [pause]

SEE!! HE’S CALLING!! OMG!!. I soooo didnt make this up.

15. where you at right now?

= my room

16. what’s on ur mind right now?

= hm.. ALOT 

17.easy or tired?

= bored

18.what do you do after work/school?

= it depends. Usually I do my resting time with.. you know, browsing.. or else.

19.event that happened today?

= lets see.. Konjen, checked. Insurance, checked, ATM card, checked. Monash… not yet. sigh

20.word of the day?

= bankrupt. (As in … for real. oh, and yes, for representing that there are no more coins for my pet in PS.. HA HA)

21. ur bday?

= 2905

22.ur zodiac sign?

= Gemini

23.fav colours?

= Currently magenta (or purple, some would say.. haha)

24.fav place(s)?

= 1st: anywhere with him, 2nd: always home

25.fav ringtones?

= any catchy tunes.. currently using Mraz’s I’m Yours

26. fav music as of today?

= still Ello with Masih Ada :p (nothing to do with the lyrics.. seriously)

27.mood of the day?

= great.. lil bit sleepy (and migraine) but great!

28.Looking forward to?

= meeting him!!!

29.ur friends describe u as?

= shy, introvert and quite person (…… …….. what?? YOU DONT BELIEVE ME?)

30. body part u r most attracted to in a woman/man?

= his brain (AH SEDAP HAHAHA)

31. last item you purchased?

= korean snack yum2

32.do you like it?

= yeap.. 2nd bag and counting.